It’s Just Hair

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Hi there.

It’s done, as you have seen. While I love the cut and the fun color, it’s still a bit of a shock to my system. Thank you for all the comments and messages, it certainly helps me feel empowered and bad ass!

hair3

More news was delivered by my incredible and amazing surgical oncologist, Dr. Alosi. Knowing that the weekend would have been tough to get through without news, she called me in between emergency surgeries she was performing last night…talk about having someone in your corner!!!

Breast MRI results:

They located another tumor in my right breast. It is directly above the current one, on the skin side (that’s good news amidst bad news as it’s not near my chest wall). They also discovered 3 additional tumors in my left breast, each about a centimeter in size. The good news is that they don’t see anything in my lymph nodes in my chest. So, onward with our current plan to do the bilateral mastectomy with sentinel node biopsies on both the right and left side during the surgery.

PET scan results:

PET scan confirmed all of the information above with the addition of some metabolic activity in the lymph nodes in the lower right quadrant of my abdomen. This could be something or it could be nothing. Increased metabolic activity in the lymph system in that area could be a result of an infection or virus making its way out or due to where one is in their menstrual cycle. My case will be presented for the 4th week in a row in the interdisciplinary meeting they have every Tuesday morning. We’ll know more about direction then.

Still no chemo start date as we believe the oncologist was waiting on these results.

Lastly, we went and tried on a few wigs…a sad and hilarious experience. I’m still unsure of my feelings so I’m going to just live with them until they reveal themselves. I will, however, say this: I am definitely not a blonde!

Love and light, always 

Update

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Hello lovelies!

Just wanted to pop in and say hello.

Had my PET scan this morning. It went well, definitely an experience (I’m noticing a theme here). I was still radioactive (que the musical references!) up until about 5:30, which is kind of a freaky thing to think about! It also took a lot longer than I had anticipated, between the waiting for the solution to make it through my whole body and then the actual scan.

The results of my MRI are in BUT I don’t know what they are as I haven’t heard back from the doc yet… frustrating but I know she’s super busy cutting cancer out of other folks.

Tomorrow will be a big day: port placement, MRI results, PET scan results, chemo start date, a pixie haircut, some visitors…like whoa!

Saturday, I’ll be getting to try on some wigs at a place in Worcester. Pics to follow!

Lastly, but certainly not least-ly ,

THANK YOU for your support through the GoFundMe, the messages, cards, and unexpected gifts/offers for services.

I’ll leave you with some incredible advice:

You’ll have many moments that will stop you in your tracks… just remember to breathe… we are the ones who are humbled, to be present and witness your fierceness as you waiver through.  -JConway

Keep this amazing sentiment in mind for it is true of all of you as well 

Love and light, always 

The Beginning of Grace

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Hey there! It has been an emotional couple of days. I wanted to give you an update but first I want to say…

I am HUMBLED. The outpouring of support (all means of support) has left me pretty speechless, which is an accomplishment in its own right! Words could never express the sheer gratitude I have for all of you (and some people I don’t know too!). 💜

On to the latest:

Had my breast MRI last night. Quite an experience that I hope none of you have to go through. BUT it was successful and we should know so much more detail about how invasive “Lumpy” really is. The concern is the proximity to my chest wall and my lymph nodes and whether it has gotten its sticky fingers into either.

Thursday, I will have a PET scan. That will get a snapshot of my entire body to see if any of those pesky cancer cells have traveled beyond the breast. High protein, low/no sugar and carb diet for me starting tomorrow and for the foreseeable future. Cancer loves to feast on glucose and we’re all set with feeding the beast.

Chemo is up first. As long as I can get my port placed this week, we will start with the A/C portion of my chemo treatment next week! (Mini freak out!)

I have decided to cut my hair into a pixie to help ease the transition to being bald. I’ll post pics when I get it done.

Thank you all for…well, everything.

Love and light, always 

Ugly Cry

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ugly cry

Me today, at yoga. Something about downward dog and releasing emotions stored in my hips. For those in attendance, thank you for being witness to my first real cry…even if it was my ugly cry. 

For those who weren’t lucky enough to see the mess, picture this:

Me losing my balance attempting Tree Pose, dropping down into Child’s Pose, and then uncontrollable sobbing. I am pretty sure the girl on the mat next to me could not wait to run as far away from me as possible. I sobbed for the remaining 40 or so minutes, creating a wonderful puddle of snot, tears, and drool. Once I was done sobbing, I stood up and finished the last few poses, tears still streaming down my face.

Clearly, I needed the cry. I am thankful that I was surrounded by love.

Love and Light, Always 

7 Days

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Hey y’all.

So much information that my head feels like  and my  needed a break. Here we go:

Met with the plastic surgeon yesterday morning. Momma’s getting a brand new…image .

In all seriousness, the double mastectomy and reconstruction comes with some considerable risks , especially since I’ll most likely be under anesthesia for 6-8+ hours. We were able to get the whole process explained, got to feel what will be in my body, and learn some of the risk factors involved. Overall, very confident about the whole process.

Later, we met with the oncologist. This was the appointment that made this so real. It’s been a surreal experience, almost like watching a movie.

Since Mark and I are such A type researchaholics, we knew quite a bit heading in, but hearing it out loud was…whoa. I will have 8 total rounds of chemo spaced out every 2 weeks for a total of 16 weeks of time in treatment. 16 weeks…but as my wise MIL said, some things just can’t be hurried. As expected, I will lose my hair…all of it. Positives out of that is, well…being ALIVE, and no more shaving (for a while, at least)! They have a medication that they give you alongside the chemo that is a booster of sorts for my white blood cells that will hopefully help with the dips (i.e. feeling like ). My plan is to find some fun scarves, maybe a wig or 2 (hello purple hair!!!), and to attend a free seminar about taking care of your skin during treatment. We have the breast MRI and the PET Scan scheduled next week to round out the diagnostics.

Today, I had my IUD removed (don’t want to feed this tumor with any additional hormones!) and my labs done. Waiting on any additional things that need to happen today.

Still undetermined whether surgery or chemo is first. Once we know, I’ll let you know.

I’ve left out some of the more nitty gritty details.

And lastly, send some universe vibes to Mark and the girls. Mark has been so amazing. We talked to Ava last night and my first baby is such a strong girl . With Lili being so young, we are working out a way to tell her the whole story in a way she’d understand.

It’s been 7 days since diagnosis. We’ve just begun.

Your love and support is incredible. Part of why we’re handling all of this with humor and confidence and grace is because of you 

Love and light, always 

Buckle Up

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Buckle up kids, lots of info to share:
Ok. Here’s what we know:

Tumor- relative to breast size it is large (2.2×1.6×0.8 cm), it is estrogen and progesterone positive but HER-2 negative (which basically means it’s the preferred biological makeup if you’re going to get this). The surgeon is optimistic that it has not traveled to my lymph nodes (determined definitively during surgery) however, we have an MRI coming up to help predict before surgery.

Surgery- I will be having a double mastectomy with reconstruction. Timing of that depends on schedules of both her and the plastic surgeon (who I will be seeing on the 22nd). More than likely, we will start other treatment(s) before we have the surgery.

Chemotherapy- well, it is happening. Don’t know much more than that until we meet with oncologist on Thursday.

Lastly, I took the genetic panel test to determine if I am a carrier of any genetic mutations that significantly increase my chances of any other cancers. Won’t get those results for 2-4 weeks. Gonna put this one on the back burner and will update accordingly.

All in all, prognosis is good. We’re in for a wild ride but I’ll still be here at the end of it.

Love and light to you all