A few have asked when I was going to post about the “real” thoughts and emotions I’ve been experiencing so far. Truth be told, what you’ve seen has been a real snapshot. That doesn’t mean there hasn’t been some dark moments.

But that’s what they are – moments.

Like the overwhelming moment of fear I experienced when Mark and I were driving home from the ER Saturday night after getting my port checked out due to extreme pain and nausea (I’m fine, just more sensitive than most in the area it was placed). At that point, it was 1am, I hadn’t eaten in hours, I hadn’t really slept the night before, and it was the first time I was “treated” like a cancer patient. It was suddenly real and quite overwhelming.

There have been a few of these moments throughout the past few weeks…when I think about the girls or Mark and how we’re going to get through this or coming to terms with temporarily losing the things that represent my femininity to the world.

Again, just moments.

I am strong. And, with your love and support, I will beat this with grace and humor.

Chemo starts on Thursday. I am equal parts excited and terrified. We are on the precipice of the hardest challenge of my life. But I have faith. And I have the support of the most incredible people in this world, people who have made words incapable of properly expressing the sheer magnitude of thanks and gratitude I have ever experienced.

Onward and upward.

Love and light, always